Doctor visits
I went to the doctor today...upper respiratory infection with a side of sinusitis! At least that is what I was told! Isn't that how it works with doctors? We wait in the "waiting" room and then are herded into some triage area for them to add to the bill with temperature, weight, and blood pressure checks! I am thinking maybe to fore go all the perfunctory "padding of the bill" and get to making me feel better! But instead, I get to read the equivalent of War and Peace in out dated magazines as I am attempting to tune out what is surely the spawn of Satan while hoping that the noxious chemical smell causes me to pass out so that time will pass more quickly.
I am certain that all 26 of the people who work in the office have some role that keeps them busy, other than, of course, caring for the patients! I have learned how to cook chili, paint cars, and cheat on taxes all from the other side of those smoky glass windows of the "Reception Office." All the while, I sit!
Then comes the main event...The real life actual doctor comes in and asks that most intuitive and thought provoking question... "so, not feeling well are we?" REALLY? SERIOUSLY? I have often thought, but never verbalized..."NO! I just love the smell of hemorrhoid cream mixed with rubbing alcohol and anti-fungal spray! This place is better than the perfume counter at Macy's!!!" But he does have both blunt and sharp objects and his disposal and a questionable acumen concerning the use of them, so I do not persist!
The bitter irony of the visit is always... and I mean every time, that the doctor spends the least amount of time with you of every person you encounter on this visit! I know more about the lady there with gout or the guy with an ingrown toe nail than i do about what my doctor really thinks is wrong with me. He sticks the ear thingy in both ears, listens to me breathing, stares down my throat, and then diagnoses three things I cannot pronounce! This is followed by an illegible prescription that I think may actually be the Code of Hammurabi and requires the Rosetta stone to read! From handshake to handshake we are talking six minutes maximum.
To end all, he sends the nurse back in to give me a shot! I have spent enough time with her now to be comfortable enough to ask her on a date, but he can't even do me the courtesy of at least appearing to be adept enough at his calling to render me a shot... such a simple request... sort of like a peck on the cheek after the prom. Is it really to much to ask a doctor to just...practice!
I am certain that all 26 of the people who work in the office have some role that keeps them busy, other than, of course, caring for the patients! I have learned how to cook chili, paint cars, and cheat on taxes all from the other side of those smoky glass windows of the "Reception Office." All the while, I sit!
Then comes the main event...The real life actual doctor comes in and asks that most intuitive and thought provoking question... "so, not feeling well are we?" REALLY? SERIOUSLY? I have often thought, but never verbalized..."NO! I just love the smell of hemorrhoid cream mixed with rubbing alcohol and anti-fungal spray! This place is better than the perfume counter at Macy's!!!" But he does have both blunt and sharp objects and his disposal and a questionable acumen concerning the use of them, so I do not persist!
The bitter irony of the visit is always... and I mean every time, that the doctor spends the least amount of time with you of every person you encounter on this visit! I know more about the lady there with gout or the guy with an ingrown toe nail than i do about what my doctor really thinks is wrong with me. He sticks the ear thingy in both ears, listens to me breathing, stares down my throat, and then diagnoses three things I cannot pronounce! This is followed by an illegible prescription that I think may actually be the Code of Hammurabi and requires the Rosetta stone to read! From handshake to handshake we are talking six minutes maximum.
To end all, he sends the nurse back in to give me a shot! I have spent enough time with her now to be comfortable enough to ask her on a date, but he can't even do me the courtesy of at least appearing to be adept enough at his calling to render me a shot... such a simple request... sort of like a peck on the cheek after the prom. Is it really to much to ask a doctor to just...practice!
The waiting is why they call the people who visit doctors, patients. Hope you feel better soon. Throw out the meds, drink some hot tea, and lots of water!!
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