Hello Mama, It's Mother's Day Again

She sneaked up on me this morning. Last night I was just going about the business of planning my weekend chores. But, somewhere in the quiet of my sleep, she crept in. When I awoke this morning, I found myself humming the first verse and chorus I had written some ten years ago.

I don't often go back to it, hardly ever anymore. It was never one of my favorite songs. The ones that exact the highest price rarely are the chosen songs. They are too hard to write. But there it was; in my head and on my tongue.

First I sat down with my guitar and opened up the notebook... but something felt uncomfortable. I tried several keys, trying to recall that pitch that harmonizes with the brain, helping me remember tenor and tone. But it still wasn't quite there. then it hit me. It was a piano song! My hands were telling me I was wrong, but my head wasn't listening. I spun around in my chair, looked at my keyboard, and took that long walk across the room to that place where memory and moment collide. It was where those lyrics were born.  So I sat and I played... and she came out of the shadow she had been standing in and we remembered.

Strangely, I was supposed to be too busy this weekend for such things. Angie was out of town. All the other Callahans were gone as well. Just me, the dogs and my many unfinished tasks. But my mind, and heart, chose different plans for me this morning.

She has been gone for ten years. There is really nothing significant about that number other than the way we think of time, but a decade is quite a span. Many changes take place in a period that long. We learn to cope with the loss and time does really help. But is doesn't change the fact that there is loss. That person is not there. I have put my loss into perspective. I chose to celebrate and recall in honest and helpful ways the impact she had on my life. I don't "sugar coat" the fact that she was human. We all feed two creatures in us. And I can honestly say I think she tried hard to feed the one that nurtured good and right more so than the other.

But this morning, just for a short respite, she came back to me and I was once again afforded the chance to say thank you to her... and to Him for giving her to me. I was blessed to have her for the time I did. I am thankful that she made me a good son, and I try daily to make her proud!

In her eulogy, I wrote that one day we would sit and swing as we rejoined and rejoiced. Maybe it was a child's way of casting hope onto a dark circumstance. Maybe, just maybe, there is a swing hanging from a tree waiting for me... and maybe she is too...

In the song, there is a call to others. Celebrate her. Love her. Rejoice over her. Be thankful for her. You are blessed to have her. Do not waste that! Stop and take the time... she is worth it.

And if you don't have her with you... remember her! I do... the song says, "and of all the mama's that God made I am proud that she was mine."

"Hello mama, it's Mother's Day Again!